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sensation.
* * *
Nick awoke, rolling over for the first kiss of the new stop, and
bumped his nose on the BB gun locker.
The pain aggravated him, but he put the feelings away from
him. No sense being angry at a piece of metal. Better to be angry at
himself for seeking the sinful behavior.
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He dressed and went for breakfast. He arrived first at the mess
tent and ate rapidly and hugely, wanting to be gone before the
others arrived.
When Torturo wandered in, wearing only his pajama bottoms
and robe, Nick bussed his tray although he was still hungry. He
wouldn t be tempted. He ducked into the Pain King s empty car to
shower and dress, then collected his posters and free passes from
the front gate.
Nick went through all the usual Thursday work, alone. He
found it silent and lonely, the damp November chill even deeper
with no Jacob at his elbow to tease him or help him with a poster
that was too high.
He set his jaw and caught a late lunch, hoping to miss anyone
he could. The voice in his head wouldn t stop. It told him to go
home, go back and hope Jacob would take him in. He ignored it
and canvassed the Midway, making sure everything was in order.
The games gleamed, perfectly set up. The food vendors
whistled as they prepared for the next day s crowd. Nick watched
two of the dwarf clowns blow up balloons and the candy butcher
arrange her tray.
He barely noticed when Stitches came up behind him.
Another fight, Nick?
Nick jumped. Break-up. For good, I hope.
It sure doesn t seem to be doing you any good, kiddo. I
haven t seen a face that long since Stretch, the India Rubber Man,
got his chin caught in the taffy puller.
Who asked you? Nick snapped.
Nobody. Hey, Nick, kid, just take it easy. Stitches looked
over the bunting and Nick realized he d shredded it instead of
hanging it. Go get your ashes hauled. You ll feel better.
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Go to hell, Nick grumbled. Oh, wait, this is hell, he added
and stalked off.
Even the crowds the next day didn t improve his mood. After a
very boring evening, thrown on his own slim resources, and the
stress of ducking his lover former lover, he kept reminding
himself with rapidly shrinking conviction Nick found that talking
the crowd in annoyed him, too. He hated them all, stupid sheep,
vacant thrill seekers needing God more than stimulation, and poor
people throwing their money away.
He wanted to rail at them all, tell them to go to work, go to
church and save their money.
That stop was an index of the next. The green and red of the
Christmas carnival seemed to sink Nick even deeper into his
melancholy. He d seen Torturo stomping through the Show,
looking scruffy and unkempt, a most unusual appearance for the
natty man. He saw Jacob drinking more through the weekend.
Nick ignored it all, from the chill in the air to the Christmas
carols the Show played over the loudspeaker. They were quits. He
didn t care about Jacob or how much the man drank. He just
wanted to work until the train took him somewhere close to home.
He d jump ship then and walk if he had to. He had no reason to
stay, no reason to keep loving a murderer.
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CHAPTER 11
TOPSY-TURVY
Jacob half-woke and rolled over. The train had stopped and
someone pounded on the door of his coach. He cradled his aching
head and opened one eye. A hangover? Preposterous. He d slept
for a month, it should be gone by now. But the pounding continued
and made his eyes ache.
Come in. It s not locked! he yelled, regretting it.
A petite girl in an oversized parka barreled through the door
and shut it against the chilly wind that followed her. Jacob, she
said, making his name a sigh of relief. She came to where he
hadn t even sat up. Jacob, what is going on? Big gray eyes with
streaks of deep cobalt implored him, and pillowy lips quivered,
needing to be kissed, not two feet from his own.
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At a loss for words, Jacob just laughed and pulled the girl down
into the kiss she seemed to be inviting him to take. Good
morning, Nicholas. He smiled when he let her up. It must be the
sixth.
I haven t seen a paper, Nick snapped. I woke up and went to
the donniker only to find myself sitting down. What is going on?
January sixth, Nicholas. It s the Feast of Fools, a day where
everything is opposite. Most of the Show will be changed, I
expect. He smiled. That will be nice. The twins make very
handsome men.
It didn t do this last January, Nick protested as Jacob sat up
and started dressing.
Only on leap years, darling, Jacob said absently, looking over
the changes in his lover as he dressed. Nick was shorter now, with
longer hair. He d opened his coat and Jacob put his pants on
backward as he stared at Nick s breasts. They were lovely, making
a cleavage that invited his hands and tongue under the rather
abbreviated talker s costume. He was ready to fuck her pretty
brains out and say screw the Show.
Jacob sorted out his pants and bent in for another kiss, feeling
her marvelous breasts. Come to bed, he whispered, shoving her
coat off her shoulders and letting it drop to the floor.
Jacob, I m starving, Nick complained. He stood up and
wrapped his arms around Jacob s neck, which had the salutary
effect of pressing those breasts against Jacob s chest. He pulled
Jacob down for a kiss that left them rubbing against each other and
Nick gasping at the feel of Jacob s hard cock against his belly.
After breakfast, I want to make love to you until one of us has to
go to work, Nick said.
Of course, darling girl. Jacob slipped into his coat and held
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Nick s. Nick gave him a funny look and put it on. Jacob held the
door for his lady and smiled when she tucked a small hand into his
massive one. He did wonder that Nick wasn t more disappointed at
being trapped in a female body, given his bizarre religious ideas.
But he expected to enjoy himself thoroughly.
* * *
Nick let Jacob lead him to the mess tent. He tried not to clutch
Jacob s arm tighter as they stepped in. He let out the breath he
held. Almost everyone had changed as he had. A tall black woman
ate next to a shorter man with brown hair. A handsome Indian man
in a turban ate with Mingxia, who had not changed.
He d awakened groggier than usual. The prop car had been less
comfortable and when he rolled onto his side a warm, heavy
weight had settled on his arm. He d opened his eyes and managed
not to yell. The breasts had been the least of it. The missing
morning erection and the soft slickness between his thighs had
been bad enough. But the jolt of electric pleasure that shot through
him when he touched the area, exploring the new hair and missing
his cock, had left him shaking.
His first thought had been Jacob. He needed his friend and
lover like he d never needed the man before. He wanted to be
reassured everything would be all right. The thought of Jacob as a
woman had been almost too much to bear. The relief he d felt at
the very male voice telling him to come in had left him sagging
against the train car.
Now, he clung to Jacob s arm, the solid warmth of his lover
reassuring him. He let go only to get a tray. They were heavy this
morning and when the cook added a huge white plate loaded with
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food, Nick had to shift his grip.
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