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The next day Emma received a surprise visitor while Nikolas and Jake were away on one of their
rambles through London. As she enjoyed a last cup of tea after a hearty breakfast, she was approached
by the butler, Stanislaus, who presented a silver tray with a calling card positioned exactly in the center.
Emma's eyes widened as she saw Lord Adam Milbank's name on the card.
 Shall I send him away, Your Highness? Stanislaus asked.
 No, she said distractedly.  Show Lord Milbank into the drawing room.
The butler's Slavic features showed no expression, but his black brows inched upward toward his shock
of white hair.  Very well.
Emma smoothed her hair, which had been braided with green silk ribbons and pinned to the nape of her
neck. She yanked her forest-green velvet dress into place, straightening the bustle in back and the silk
draperies in front as she hurried to the drawing room. Why would Adam call on her, especially
considering his loathing of her husband? Perhaps he wanted to discuss the past with her, or even
reestablish his friendship with her, though for what purpose she couldn't fathom. It didn't matter his
presence here suitedher purposes without a doubt. Nikolas would find out about it, and he would be
infuriated. She wanted her husband to feel some of the hurt and wounded pride he had made her feel in
the past. Perhaps it was wrong to use Adam toward that end, but she didn't care. She had been used by
both of them, Adam and Nikolas, and it was time the tables were turned.
Stanislaus guided Adam Milbank to the drawing room, and inquired if there was anything Emma
required.
 Tea, please, she said, and the butler left them with a quiet murmur. Emma approached Adam, the man
she had always considered the love of her life, with outstretched hands.  Adam, she said with a smile.  I
had intended to write you a letter and invite you to tea. How nice to see you!
Clearly surprised by her welcome, he took her hands and gripped them lightly. His boyish face looked
troubled, but his brown eyes were alight with hope.  I had merely intended to leave a card 
 No, stay and have some tea with me, she insisted.  If you have time, that is.
 There could be no better use for my time. Adam walked farther into the room, carrying his hat and
riding whip. He shook his head in wonder as he glanced at his surroundings.  All this luxury, and yet you
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look quite at home here.
 Itis my home, Emma said with a light laugh.  But I haven't changed all that much. I spend most of my
time in the menagerie with the usual bill of players Manchu, Cleo, Presto 
 How are your animals?
 Oh, they've taken to their surroundings quite well.
 And you?
Her smile faded, and she seated herself in a chair with embroidered cushions, carefully arranging her
skirts.  I still have some adjusting to do, she said honestly.  Nikolas is very& confusing. He's not easy to
understand, or to live with.
 Does he make you happy, Emma?
It was far too intimate a conversation for a man and a woman married to other people to be having.
However, their past relationship made it far too easy for Emma to slip back into the habit of talking to
Adam comfortably.
 No& but I'm not asun happy as I thought I might be. It's impossible to explain.
Adam sat beside her, his brown eyes melancholy as he looked at her. He took a long breath.  I've
thought about you quite a lot after our last conversation. There were other things I wanted to tell you, but
there didn't seem to be time. All I could think about then was how much I wanted you to know the truth
about what your husband did to us. Before I saw you again, I wanted you to have a chance to reflect on
it.
 Oh, I've reflected on it, Emma said grimly.  I've also told Nikolas exactly what I thought of his
manipulation.
 He ruined both our lives, Em. I'm married to a woman I don't love. It just seemed to be the only thing
to do. I knew I couldn't have you, there was just too much opposition from your family and Nikolas, and
then I met Charlotte 
 Please, Emma said with discomfort, holding up a hand.  I don't want to talk about her.
 Certainly. But let me at least tell you& we're not happy together, Charlotte and I. We don't suit. Not as
you and I did. Adam ran a hand through his long, silken sheaves of brown hair, looking impatient and
perturbed. There was an edge to his voice, as well as a glint in his eyes, that was unfamiliar to her.  I
keep thinking about what we might have had, he said bluntly.  Do you ever wonder what it would be
like if you and I had married each other?
 I used to wonder all the time, she admitted.  But lately& no, I suppose I don't allow myself to think
about it anymore.
 I can't stop dwelling on what was taken from me. Your husband slithered into our lives and took away
everything I wanted. I have the damnedest fantasies about the things I'd like to do to him, various ways to
cause him incredible pain and degradation  He stopped in astonishment as Emma began to laugh.
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 I'm sorry! She tried to stifle her gasps of amusement.  It's just& you're not the first, believe me! I think
almost everyone who's ever known Nikolas has felt that way about him.
 I don't think it's amusing, Adam said with extreme dignity, color etching across his cheekbones.
Emma sobered somewhat, though a few bubbles of laughter were still trapped in her throat.  You're
right. Nikolas is an absolute scoundrel.
 It tortures me to think of you with him the way he must abuse you, the way he has humiliated you by
forcing his bastard son on you 
 No, she said quickly.  Iwant Jake to live here. I care about the boy and so does Nikolas. She
paused as the truth of her remark resounded in her very bones.  I thought Nikolas couldn't love anyone,
she continued in a wondering tone,  but he adores his son. Either Nikolas has changed, or& there's
something in him I never noticed before. Either way, he's the most caring father I've ever seen aside
from my own.
 Your father! Adam said indignantly.  You're talking about the two people who both managed to keep
us apart! Domineering, manipulative men who like to control everyone around them! He took her hand
and squeezed it tightly.  Em, don't you remember how it was? We loved each other so much, and we
were torn apart by those two and their own selfish need of you. They did it so carelessly, soeasily   He
broke off with a frustrated sound.
 Yes, Emma murmured.  Why was it so easy? If we truly loved each other, why were they able to
separate us?
They were both silent then, thinking back to that time just six months ago.
Emma didn't feel any of the pain she had expected, talking about the past. No heartache or longing. To
her surprise, it was doing her good, helping to free her from the bitterness and hurt. Even more
astonishing, Adam had lost some of the magic sparkle that her memory had endowed him with; he was a
little less handsome, a little less perfect, than she had thought. In fact, he seemed ratherordinary in some [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]