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was equally plain that I should be worried so long as I owed
money. I mean, as long as any creditor had the power to vex me
or to interfere with my coming back by insisting upon being paid
before I could get a decent stake together. This was all so
obviously true that I said to myself, "I must go through
bankruptcy." What else could relieve my mind?
It sounds both easy and sensible, doesn't it? But it was
more than unpleasant, I can tell you. I hated to do it. I hated
to put myself in a position to be misunderstood or misjudged. I
myself never cared much for money. I never thought enough of it
to consider it worth while lying for. But I knew that everybody
didn't feel that way. Of course I also knew that if I got on my
feet again I'd pay everybody off, for the obligation remained.
But unless I was able to trade in the old way I'd never be able
to pay back that million.
I nerved myself and went to see my creditors. It was a
mighty difficult thing for me to do, for all that most of them
were personal friends or old acquaintances.
I explained the situation quite frankly to them. I said
"I am not going to take this step because I don't wish to
pay you but because, in justice to both myself and you, I must
put myself in a position to make money. I have been thinking of
this solution off and on for over two years, but I simply didn't
have the nerve to come out and say so frankly to you. It would
have been infinitely better for all of us i f I had. It all
simmers down to this: I positively cannot be my old self while I
am harassed or upset by these debts. I have decided to do now
what I should have done a year ago. I have no other reason than
the one I have just given you."
What the first man said was to all intents and purposes
what all of them said. He spoke for his firm.
"Livermore," he said, "we understand. We realise your
position perfectly. I'll tell you what we'll do: we'll just give
you a release. Have your lawyer prepare any kind of paper you
wish, and we'll sign it."
That was in substance what all my big creditors said. That
is one side of Wall Street for you. It wasn't merely careless
good nature or sportsmanship. It was also a mighty intelligent
decision, for it was clearly good business. I appreciated both
the good will and the business gumption.
These creditors gave me a release on debts amounting to
over a million dollars. But there were the two minor creditors
who wouldn't sign off. One of them was the eight hundred-dollar
man I told you about. I also owed sixty thousand dollars to a
brokerage firm which had gone into bankruptcy, and the
receivers, who didn't know me from Adam, were on my neck early
and late. Even if they had been disposed to follow the example
set by my largest creditors I don't suppose the court would have
let them sign off. At all events my schedule of bankruptcy
amounted to only about one hundred thousand dollars; though, as
I said, I owed well over a million.
It was extremely disagreeable to see the story in the news-
papers. I had always paid my debts in full and this new
experience was most mortifying to me. I knew I'd pay off
everybody some day if I lived, but everybody who read the
article wouldn't know it. I was ashamed to go out after I saw
the report in the newspapers. But it all wore off presently and
I cannot tell you how intense was my feeling of relief to know
that I wasn't going to be harried any more by people who didn't
understand how a man must give his entire mind to his business,
if he wishes to succeed in stock speculation.
My mind now being free to take up trading with some
prospect of success, unvexed by debts, the next step was to get
another stake. The Stock Exchange had been closed from July
thirty-first to the middle of December 1914, and Wall Street was
in the dumps. There hadn't been any business whatever in a long
time. I owed all my friends. I couldn't very well ask them to
help me again just because they had been so pleasant and
friendly to me, when I knew that nobody was in a position to do
much for anybody.
It was a mighty difficult task, getting a decent stake, for
with the closing of the Stock Exchange there was nothing that I
could ask any broker to do for me. I tried in a couple of
places. No use.
Finally I went to see Dan Williamson. This was in February,
1915. I told him that I had rid myself of the mental incubus of
debt and I was ready to trade as of old. You will recall that
when he needed me he offered me the use of twenty-five thousand
dollars without my asking him.
Now that I needed him he said, "When you see something that
looks good to you and you want to buy five hundred shares go
ahead and it will be all right."
I thanked him and went away. He had kept me from making a
great deal of money and the office had made a lot in commissions
from me. I admit I was a little sore to think that Williamson &
Brown didn't give me a decent stake. I intended to trade
conservatively at first. It would make my financial recovery
easier and quicker if I could begin with a line a little better
than five hundred shares. But, anyhow, I realised that, such as
it was, there was my chance to come back.
I left Dan Williamson's office and studied the situation in
general and my own problem in particular. It was a bull market.
That was as plain to me as it was to thousands of traders. But
my stake consisted merely of an offer to carry five hundred
shares for me. That is, I had no leeway, limited as I was. I
couldn't afford even a slight setback at the beginning. I must
build up my stake with my very first play. That initial purchase [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]