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we get anything to eat in this hotel or near it, Jeff?
Remembering the dreadful drain of matrix work, he took her to one of the
spaceport cafés, where she ate one of her enormous meals. They walked
about the Terran Zone for a little, and Jeff made a gesture at showing her
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some of the sights of the Zone, but he knew that she cared no more than he
did.
Neither of them spoke of Arilinn, but Jeff knew that her thoughts, like his,
kept returning there. What would this failure mean to Darkover, to the
Comyn?
They had located and clarified the mineral deposits in the contract; but the
actual work of mining was still to be done, the major operation of lifting them
to the surface of the planet.
Elorie said once, as if at random,  They can work it with a mechanic s circle.
Rannirl can do most of the work with the energons. Any halfway good
technician can do most of a Keeper s work. They don t need me. And at
another time, apropos of nothing at all, she, said,  They still have all the
molecular models we made, and the lattice is still workable. They ought to be
able to handle it.
Jeff pulled her to him.  Regretting?
 Never. Her eyes met his honestly.  But oh, wishing it could have happened
another way.
He had destroyed them. He had come back to the world he loved, and he had
destroyed its last chance to remain as it was.
Later, when she took the matrix between her hands, he was filled with sudden
misgiving. He recalled the matrix mechanic who had died in trying to read his
memory.  Elorie, I d rather never know, than risk harming you!
She shook her head.  I was trained at Arilinn; I risk nothing, she said with
unconscious arrogance. She cupped the matrix between her two hands,
brightening the moving points of light. Her ruddy hair fell like a soft curtain
along either cheek.
Kerwin was feeling frightened. The breaking of a telepathic barrier he
remembered Kennard s attempt was not an easy process, and the first
attempt had been painful.
The light in the crystal brightened, seemed to pour in a thick flood over
Elorie s face. Kerwin shaded his eyes from the light, but he was caught in the
brilliant, reflecting patterns. And suddenly, as if printed plain before his eyes,
the light thickened and darkened into moving shadows that suddenly cleared
into color and form&
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Two men and two women, all of them in Darkovan clothing, seated around a
table. One of the women, very frail, very fair, bending over a matrix& he had
seen this before! He froze, terror clawing at him, as the door opened, slowly,
slowly& on horror&
He heard his own cry, shrill and terrified, the shriek of a frightened child
from the full throat of a man, just in the moment before the world blurred
and went dark.
& He was standing, swaying, both-hands gripping at his temples. Elorie, very
white, was staring up at him, the crystal fallen into the lap of her skirt.
 Jeff, what did you see? she whispered.  Avarra and Evanda guard you, I
never dreamed of such a shock! She breathed deeply.  I know now why the
woman died! She&  Elorie swayed suddenly, fell back against the wall. Jeff
moved to steady her, but she went on, not noticing.  Whatever she saw and
I m not an empath, but whatever it was that struck you dumb as a child, that
poor woman evidently caught the full backlash of it. If she had a weak heart, it
probably stopped, literally frightened to death by something you saw more
than a quarter of a century ago!
Jeff took her hands. He said,  Let s forget it. It s too dangerous, Elorie, it s
killed one woman already. I can live without knowing whatever it is.
 No, she said.  I think we have to know. There have been too many
mysteries. No one knows how Cleindori died, and Kennard knows but has
been sworn not to tell. I don t think he killed her, she went on, and Kerwin
stared at her in shock; that had never occurred to him.
 No. I d stake my life on Kennard s honesty. And, Kerwin thought, his very
genuine affection for them both.
 I m a trained Keeper, Jeff, there s no danger for me. And I m as eager to
know as you are. But wait, give me your matrix, she added.  It was
Cleindori s. And let s start with something else. You said that you had only a
very few memories before the orphanage; let s try and go back to them.
She looked into Kerwin s matrix; as always when it was in a Keeper s hands,
Jeff felt only the faint threading of Elorie s consciousness through his own.
He shut his eyes, remembering.
The light in the matrix brightened. There were colors, swirls like mist; there
was a blue beacon shining somewhere, a low building gleaming white on the
shores of a strange lake that was not water, a ghost of perfume; a low and
musical voice singing an old song, and Kerwin knew, with a thrill of
excitement, that the voice was the voice of his mother, Cleindori, Dorilys of
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Arilinn, renegade Keeper, singing a lullaby to the child who should never
have been born.
Wrapped in a cloak of fur, he was carried through long corridors in the arms [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]